happy

I watched a documentary called Happy last week. It was all about the things that make us happy in life, and how much of it is external, and how much we can actually control.
 

According to the movie, once you have basic needs met, having a lot more money doesn't make you any happier. People who make $70,000 a year report the same levels of happiness as people who make $700,000 a year.

One thing I found very interesting was a concept called the hedonic treadmill, or hedonic adaptation. Basically, we continually adapt to what is "normal" for us, so things that start out as new and exciting, quickly become "normal" and commonplace, and we continue to seek new things or experiences because we've adapted and adjusted to things that we already have and know.
 

This is extremely true with material possessions, and it's definitely something that hit home with me while watching the movie. Sometimes I will see a new dress or shirt that I absolutely HAVE to have, and so I get it and bring it home and I love it for awhile, but then after awhile it's not my "new dress" anymore it's just another thing that I own, and then I'll see something else that I want just as much as I wanted the last new dress. We like things more before we have them, and then once we have them, we want new things. So things are worth more us before they are actually ours.

I don't usually make impulse buys, usually if there is something I want, I'll go home and think it over, and come back later to get it if I'm still thinking about it. There is a perfume in Macy's I've been visiting for almost 5 years now, because I love it, but if I actually bought it and spent the money to take it home with me, would I still feel the same way about it?
 

That might not be a great example, because after 5 years, I probably would love it just as much as I thought I would, but for a lot of the things I own, that's not the case. Sometimes I think the anticipation of getting something that I want, the act of denying yourself the thing you want the most, is better than actually getting it. Just like sometimes the delicious tension right before you kiss somebody new for the first time is better than the kiss itself.
 

According to Happy, our level of happiness is 50% determined by genetics, 10% determined by outside circumstances like money, status and power, and 40% determined by intentional activities such as:
 

1. Spending time with friends and family

2. Exercising, or moving your body, especially in fun and novel ways

3. Feeling like you’re a part of something larger by participating in your community and the world at large

Participating in novel physical activity with a friend :)

The Colour Run

Check out Happy, currently available on Netflix. 

renegade

Last weekend I attended the Renegade Craft Fair in San Francisco. It is basically small local businesses that make or design things like clothes, art, cards, jewellery, etc and they all come together to sell it. Many of them have Etsy shops.

It was really neat to see all of the different things that people make, and it made me feel a bit bad about myself that I haven't quite learned how to macrame myself a pair of jean shorts, but mostly it was just very impressive, it was a bit of a contact high being around all of those talented, creative people.

Even though there was tons of beautiful jewellery, I didn't end up buying any, there was almost too many pieces I liked and I couldn't narrow it down to just one.

I did buy this super adorable card, that I might frame and keep by my bed because it makes me happy whenever I look at it.

I bought some gorgeous eyeshadow from Calico, which I didn't need but the colours were so beautiful I wanted to paint my whole body with them.

They give you a "positive thought of the day" if you buy something from them, this was mine.

I bought this charcoal and tea-tree oil soap for the boy, it smells amazing, and I'm sure he won't be surprised to find a lump of "coal" in his stocking.

I haven't decided if he's been naughty or nice

And I also bought this shirt. I literally saw it from across the room and we loved each other immediately. They didn't have it in the style I wanted but I went home and ordered it immediately afterwards, and I am impatiently checking my mailbox every day waiting for the moment we are together again.

scavenger

I finally made it out to the Concord Flea Market and it was really neat. I was a bit overwhelmed at first, because they sell EVERYTHING there. Like everything. You can buy electronics, clothes, jewellery, antiques, shoes, sewing machines, prom dresses, parakeets, there were even quite a few tables set up for people selling drugstore products like tampons and deodorant.

I wonder who is coming here and buying random remotes? Does anyone ever find the one remote they were truly looking for?

I am always drawn first to the jewellery, and antiques, especially anything you might use in the kitchen. I nearly bought an entire set of crystal glasses and a pitcher, until I remembered I have nowhere to put it.

Ditto antique tea cups, I wanted to make my own candles and put them in there. I may go back and try to find some more of those because it looks really cute, but again, I really have nowhere to put them.

Pet Rocks.. I wonder how much they were charging for these?

Since I can't figure out how to work my electric sewing machine, I'm pretty sure this one is out of the question.

I did end up buying a few things:

This watch. It doesn't work, it needs a new battery, but I saw it and I thought it was so cute. I've been looking for a thin gold bracelet to wear with some bangles, and I have freakishly tiny wrists and it fit me perfectly with no alterations needed, plus it was only $2.
 

I bought these little glass bottles, when I showed them to my husband he said "Why would you buy those? That is someone's garbage, they are trying to get it out of their house and you bring it to ours". But I have a project in mind and I know they will be ravishing when I'm finished, that will teach him.

I also bought this antique Italian mirror, the frame is very heavy silver, and I think with a little TLC it could be really beautiful again.

ginger

It is a holiday tradition for me to dominate my friends and family at gingerbread house decorating. This year we decided to have a little party decorating party with my brother in law and his girlfriend so I could finally watch A Christmas Story, which I've never seen. I actually didn't really like it, I'm pretty sure that means I have no soul or something, but I gave it a chance.

I was in charge of picking up the kits and I was delighted to find that I could make my own Barbie dream house. Unfortunately, the icing was very solid and hard to work with, and worse than that, it tasted like feet.

We had fun decorating, and eating the candy, but the houses were merely decorative, eating the houses was strictly out of the question because of the horrifying after taste the icing left in your mouth.

The worst part is, these houses are clearly advertised toward little girls (or big girls, ahem) so I guess they thought if they put Barbie on it and made the icing pink, it wouldn't matter what it tasted like, because kids will eat anything.

Can you guess which one is mine?

jingle bells

Merry Christmas!

I hope your Christmas is less this:

And more this:

tiny dancer

Last Saturday we went to see The Nutcracker at the San Francisco Opera House. It was pretty much my dream date, I got to dress up, eat chocolate truffles, drink champagne and watch ballet dancers in glittery costumes twirling around.

The opera house was gorgeous, it was all marble and gold leaf everywhere. I almost took a picture of the bathroom vanity because I couldn't remember the last time I had been in a public place with actual faucets, instead of the automatic kind, but I decided whipping out my camera in a public bathroom was at least awkward, or possibly ground for arrest.

We had planned on eating supper before the show, but we weren't very hungry and decided to just get drinks and dessert.

The ballet was beautiful, somewhere around the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy I finally decided that what I want to be when I grow up is a ballet dancer. I know they have adult classes in the area, I am sure I could be dancing the part of Clara by next Christmas. Probably.

26 acts

Just like everyone else, I was shocked and horrified by the events in Newtown, CT last Friday. I read as much about it as I could, spending hours trying to figure out what had happened and why, but honestly there are no real answers when something like this happens, and it's easy to feel helpless and hopeless.

This article, I think, sums up my reaction pretty well. A tragedy like this definitely puts life in perspective, and makes you realize how lucky you are, and how many things you take for granted, because you believe they will always be there.

In the days since then, there have been plenty of debates about who was to blame, what really happened, and what needs to be done to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. It can be a bit overwhelming, all of the media and all of the opinions, and the truth is, the answer is not a simple one. 

Yes, it is a sad and tragic thing that happened, but it is also true that horrible things happen everyday, all over the world, and most of the time we don't even hear about them. Yes, there is a discussion to be had about who has access to what kind of guns, and about the treatment people are able to receive for mental illness, and hopefully we can prevent anything like this from happening again, but it doesn't change the fact that it has happened.

I came across the 26 Random Acts of Kindness movement, and it seems like a fitting tribute, and also a positive way for people to get involved. The premise is that you do 26 random acts of kindess, one for each of the victims, and ask the person who you've done the kindness for to pay it forward. If enough people decide to do this, the world just might be a little bit brighter.

Especially at this time of year, which is supposed to be about friendship, love and caring for each other, but can sometimes be more about stress, expense and material things, why not take a few minutes to brighten someone else's day? 

Whether it be donating toys, baking cookies for a lonely neighbour, paying for a stranger's coffee, or just smiling at someone on the street, you never know what someone might be going through, or how that one act of kindness could make all the difference.

favourites

A few of the things make me happy right now:

Cadbury Dairy Milk: I've eaten a lot of chocolate. I eat chocolate almost every day. And out of all of it, the cheap and very expensive kinds I've tried, this is by far the best. You could easily devour the entire thing in a matter of minutes. Which I never do. And certainly not yesterday since I will be spending the better part of the next 2 weeks in a bikini. Obviously.

Sunset over the bay:

Christmas lights: I got home from work last Friday to find a twinkly surprise over my garage door.

It's nothing too crazy, but we are the only ones in our whole neighbourhood that put up any lights at all so we won the Christmas decoration battle, if only be default.

But we have a bit of work to do if we want to beat these guys:

Also, this.

put your face on

I am kind of obsessed with makeup. It's a problem. I have literally drawers and cupboards and shelves FULL of makeup that's I've accumulated over the years, most of which I don't use, but can't throw away because what if I need it someday? What if they don't make that colour anymore?

My makeup drawer. Full disclosure: I also have a rather large pink plastic tub full of "special occasion" makeup under the sink

And I just know that the second I decide to actually get rid of something, I will wake up the next day with an amazing makeup idea that would only be possible with that one product that I threw away, that they no longer make.

I will then spend countless amounts of time and money to replace the product that I threw away because I didn't use, and then once I have it I will use it once, remember why I hadn't used it in the first place, and it will sit in a drawer unused until my next attempt at cleaning out my makeup drawer, because that is what my life is like.
 

Still regardless of this fact that I am fully aware of, I can't stop. I love makeup, I love buying it, wearing it, and experimenting with it. I love that you can make yourself look totally different one day than you did the day before. Not that I do that, I usually do my makeup the exact same way every time, but still it's nice to have the option.

Here are some products I have been trying to avoid buying for a few months now, but who am I kidding, I will probably end up dashing out to the nearest Sephora the second I publish this post.

Benefit Hoola Bronzer- I have about 50 bronzers sitting in a drawer at home, but I am somehow convinced that this is the one that is going to make all my bronzed goddess dreams come true.

 Benefit High Beam- This is to be used in tandem with product number 1. I've been wanting to try highlighting and contouring to see what all the fuss is about, and I'm hoping if I use superior products it might help to cancel out user error and help me to avoid looking like a crazed zebra.

Mac Ruby Woo- Apparently this is the greatest red lipstick ever made. I will let you know, once I inevitably purchase it. This is what I think I look like when I wear red lipstick:

 

 But I'm pretty sure this is what I actually look like:

honeybadger don't give a kiss

My work Christmas party was last Thursday, and I seriously had so much fun. In the afternoon I joined a team for The Amazing Race: Honeybadger Edition, which was basically a scavenger hunt all around San Francisco where we had clues and challenges to figure out, and we had to try to make it back to the office in the shortest time.

 
We were literally running all over the city like crazy people, sweating in ugly sweaters, wrapped in Christmas lights and wearing reindeer antlers, and it was a lot of fun. The great thing about this city is that there are so many crazily dressed and insane people wandering around all the time, that nobody even gave us a second look, it was pretty funny.

Later that evening we had a big party with food, drinks, ice sculptures and karaoke, and it was a blast. I got to meet a bunch of new people at the company, and party with my fellow AC's. I absolutely love karaoke, I used to go to karaoke all the time in Hawaii, but I haven't been since we moved here and I missed it.

 

Honeybadger ice scuplture

Oh Canada

I will take literally any excuse to sing "Piano Man" at the top of my lungs. The night ended with me singing a stirring rendition of the Canadian national anthem with the 2 other Canucks that work in our office.

My ugly sweater was a casualty of the evening, I can't find it anywhere. Apparently I am destined to be forced to to hunt down a new one every year.

attribution

One of the theories that was most interesting to me when I was taking classes for my MA in Communication was Attribution Theory.

It basically says that people look for cause and reaction in their everyday lives, and in the actions and behaviors of those around them, but that we are more likely to attribute our successes (winning a race, getting a promotion) as internal (we are smarter, stronger, faster, etc than the other guy) and our failures as external ( the other guy cheated, the stakes were unfair, etc) and we are more likely to attribute the successes of other people as external (they were lucky, there was less competition) and other people's failures as internal (they aren't as smart, they are lazy, lack motivation, etc).

I feel like this is very applicable in real life, on a pretty much constant basis. We know why we do the things we do, and we all like to see ourselves as good people, so we are able to rationalize our actions and behaviors in a positive way.
 

We also want to understand why other people do what they do, but since we don't actually know what their motivation is or what they are thinking or feeling at the time, we basically have to guess, and it can be easy to make judgements about people based on these guesses, even though at the end of the day we really have no idea why that person acted the way they did.

As a personal example, this was a long time ago but I still remember it like it was yesterday, there was a guy from my high school who I kind of knew but not very well. He messaged me online one day, so I was chatting with him, and he told me that he thought I was a stuck up bitch basically, because I never said hello to him, even though he never said anything to me either.
 

Now, I am kind of awkward and shy if I don't know people pretty well, that's just the way it is, so I just figured he was the same way, and never really thought about it again, but he had rationalized to himself that the reason he hadn't said anything to me was that he was too shy, but that I was deliberately not talking to him because I was stuck up and rude.

We both rationalized each other's behaviour, and assigned motivation to our actions, even though, really, we had no idea why the other person hadn't said anything.
 

That's just one example, but it happens all the time, to everyone. They say first impressions are everything, but you might miss out on a really great person, or an awesome friend because of a judgement you made about that person based on nothing but your own rationalization of their behaviour.
 

Basically:

Try giving people the benefit of the doubt, they might just surprise you.

winter wonderland

Last night we went out for supper in SF, then got Starbucks and went for a long walk before we went skating at the Embarcadero center.

SF at Christmas

 Skating was really fun, although they had "hockey skates" and I use the term loosely. They had absolutely no edge, and I kept waiting to crash head long into the boards and take 4 or 5 unlucky souls with me. I managed to stay upright but I really missed my picks, and regretted my decision not to bring my skates to California with me.

"A good skater can skate in anything"- Just Friends

Trying not to die

Here are few of my favourite things about this time of year:

• skiing, skating, tobogganing, etc.

• coming in out of the cold and warming your hands on a steaming mug of hot chocolate (see above)

• it seems like people are nicer to each other, and go out of their way to help even complete strangers

• finding the perfect gift for someone that you absolutely know they will love (extra points if it's on sale)

• all of the cookies (especially these), and other delicious treats

• there is always an excuse for a party, cute new dress, or cocktail 

• Holiday movies, especially Home Alone, and Love Actually 

• When you're wrapping presents and you manage to cut all the way across the wrapping paper in one smooth line, without stopping and without ripping it. Success.